"maybe you should assume this to be the worst-case scenario".

maybe i should have. long ago. for the last time, i should tell myself, it is not possible. and yet kevin is right. why do i need to hear it from the horse's mouth to stop clinging onto that deceiving glimmer of hope.

"just being able to believe in that hope will bring you some joy, but overall, you'll be happier if you stop hoping for something that will possibly never materialise."

who am i kidding? do i suddenly expect you to turn around and say, i just needed some time, maybe we could start over again?

"to be honest, the way he's behaving now, it's as good as the worst-case scenario."

is it insecurity? is it because true love would be able to undergo all sorts of tribulations? is it because, as hweebing says, in order to protect oneself, everybody is capable of being cruel?

is it because leaving things hanging in mid-air without providing a proper conclusion is so much easier for you?

"and when i asked him, 'how's your heart?', he would just smile."

you never made things clear. and yet, it's all because of my stupid need to want to continue believing. i don't need to, don't have to believe. but secretly, i do, no?

you never allowed yourself space to believe that you read things wrongly. you never afforded yourself enough weakness to believe any explanation.

because in the real world, second chances can prove to be fatal mistakes.


( the last two paragraphs are not meant to be understood.)

[[ there was a girl who met a boy. they could talk about everything under the sun, it was a very comfortable feeling being with him. but the girl was perplexed because he was sending her mixed signals. he would feed her, and laugh with her and seem as if he really liked her, but he would suddenly sms to say he wanted to exercise when he was the one who asked her out. he would stand at the train door and wave as she walked sadly away. she doesn't know what he wants.

/

actually the boy really likes the girl, but he doesn't know how she's feeling. he wants to be sure, and he wanted to wait a while more, but yes, he's very sure now, that she is the one. ]]

Yielding lONG, Superior, gIANt Gourd'S are MY business, farmer DUDE announces.